12-14 September 1938

[/P] Mathu [sic: T.C. Mehta] wakes me and we go to lower deck and there [,] like a dream shadows the horizon is broken by a jagged line of mountain outline – We see more & more – Not so beautiful as Table Mountain says Mahtu [Mehta] – more and more land on horizon [,] then the main prominence – Two lighthouses then [,] as we leave the Cape [,] we see four ships - wrecks on the rocks and by experience we feel safe –

Breakfast & I tell Watson about the sight of land — He tells me about 4 miles from the lighthouse [,] Dakar [capital city of Senegal] — French [.]  He says he was at one time in the town [,] equality of races the policy of France — white and black — sit together eat together & play cards together — Dakar Cape Verde becomes for me a symbol of liberty — like the Statue of Liberty for the Americans - I remember Irma Stern description of her experiences in Dakar — how she lived in same hotel as blacks - how she had to use morning bath after a black-man [,] it was news for South Africa — The Senegalese French army -

After breakfast Mahtu [Mehta] asks me to join him in game of Tennis Table — We play & after sometime two SAfricans come along a [sic: and] we give them the bats - & go to upper deck [,] find DN [D. Naidoo]. reading Angel Pavement (Priestley) [J.B. Priestley, “Angel Pavement”, 1930]  I say Priestley only work of any value [,] rest cheap - A whole colony of South Africans sunbathing and I remember case of racism in SA & I wonder — Also the Dutch reformed church in SAfrica against the exposure of body of white women to Natives [,] but to me the white women aenemic [sic: anaemic] sallow pink and blue skin [,] unattractive and I see it is used to bluff the white-men themselves [,] that their women folk more attractive & shd [sic: should] be considered better than black women so as to keep up the bluff of white superiority — D Naidoo stops reading & looks at me reading French & says the Natives shd [sic: should] all be herded together & driven into the Atlantic with machine guns behind them & shd [sic: should] not be allowed to read French [.]  He says this sarcastically —

Man with a beard stands with Abr [Abraham] & speaks seriously on something [,] then Abr [Abraham] comes & tells us that the man advising him against taking on the wrestler [,] because the man might be SAfrican and might hurt him and disable him for life – The man was old + set and some South Africans expected the other man to be polite & sporting when they themselves were not ready to give advantage to man of colour – Abr [Abraham] pretends that he is withdrawing from the fight because of this man’s advice – More tennis & then dinner –

At dinner Mahtu [Mehta] comes when I finish & we go to tennis [,] Mahtu [Mehta] is very keen – We find the court occupied by two people evidently man and wife – we go in and Mahtu [Mehta] plays well but has to take ball & racket to deck Steward till 4 oclock -  The cross eyed Stoker comes & sits on the hetch [sic: bench or hatch] a terrible sight.  He refuses to go down & Foreman comes & talks him over – He seems a good man but Stoker wait to see doctor – Doctor gives him some tonic.

[/P] We sit and talk, Mahtu [Mehta] refers to the incident at the bridge [.]  We laugh over the way he said to the first Class passengers – “business magnets eh”- and he says he does not know why he said it – And “A Short Holiday to England” so simply and innocently [.] I point out that the fellows might have misunderstood him & took him for a sarcastic Socialist or Communist & must have wondered how such a creature got the Passport in SA.  We [illegible words] for it but fail – We laugh over it –

[/P] The Cockney comes along and Mahtu [Mehta] asks him straight off whether he will do another trip after 10 days in South Hampton – Says “yes” sadly – He says he is tired & I say he will be in London in a wk [sic: week] – He brightens up and counts on his fingers the days – Mahtu [Mehta] bluntly talks of the Stoker but Cockney not enthusiastic and goes – I tell Mahtu [Mehta] he must not blunder – He shd [sic: should] learn to say what he thinks when he [illegible] to say it – He compares with foolish detective [,] he says [,] wd [sic: would] be shot by criminal – We laugh again –

[/P] I go for a bath - & go for game but find the young jew playing with the wife of the Checks.  We see the Checks at the rails with flowing hair – Mahtu [Mehta] had told me he was a journalist and had been to India – So interested Mahtu [Mehta] opens an argument & [illegible words] of with the political conditions of India — Nehru [Jawaharlal Nehru] cannot succeed with his plan — too impracticable as people of India not much advanced — He asks me my destination and says Paris better than England [illegible] but France cosmopolitan — The French Colonial Policy compared with British — He thinks there will be clash in South Africa // Dutch & English — does not think much of Dutch — Does not believe coloureds [illegible] for Non-Europeans United front wd [sic: would] betray because the coloureds wd [sic: would] like to be Europeans — (Tries to find out if we not Coloureds) [.] He tells of social & political conditions in India — the poorest country in the world — The rich will not do anything for the poor — people sleeping in the streets [.]  Nehru’s programme too advanced for India but situation will improve with time — He tells his contacts with Indian intellectuals, Bose, Nehru Naidoo etc.  Says the same of Africa [,] instance Senegal — Dakar.  African editor of my French paper spoke French masterly & leader of a political party — revolutions no good [,] there must be development of political consciousness among the masses & leader must prepare themselves in readiness – SA revival of tribalism, Govt [sic: government] policy – What do you think of Rana Roo [illegible words] – Oh it’s difficult to be both Indian & Englishman.  If India got national independence wd [sic: would] be colony of either Russia or Japan – Not indentured community [.] Tata steel works – He goes & looks for his wife – We play till dinner time –

Watson pts [sic: points] at N + looks at Eur chd [sic: European child] & says “look is he a nigger – Good old Watson [,] guileless and honest & responses [sic: responds] spontaneously to tender feelings of humanity

I go and look at News sheet on Notice board – Hitler’s [Adolf Hitler] speech expected at 12 oclock[1]  [,] wild excitement at Downing Street – crowds shout “Hands off Czechoslovakia”- Young SA [sic: South African] comes – same as spoke to me as ship left Cape Town – Do you understand it John?”  I looked at him & affect amazement and say yes “it seems as if it can’t be avoided.  Hell of a [illegible] up” – He looks Confused – 

[/P] I go to Upper deck and find Watson & the black group watching askance the preparation of the Balmoral Derby – The young woman very excited [,] dress as jockeys [illegible] has steeples [illegible] on her side and She is very talkative [,] apparently a bit drunk – She dances a waltz with one of the young men and talks in a wild voice - She runs towards us and asks the sailor standing behind us if he has no safety pin for her [.]  He says no and She asks if his girl never wears safety pins in a suggestive manner – As she goes away the sailor flairs up & says he hated SAfricans and did not wish to be rude [to] the woman – He calls them all sorts of names – ignorant etc.  Their attitude to the blacks he condemns and their way of amusements he thinks childish & boisterous – Colonials etc.  He preferred to enjoy himself quietly [,] drinks & women of course – Abr [Abraham] bluntly asks why sailors love women & I budge in & say all men like women -  We spoke of war + sailor says he wd [sic: would] go to Honolulu [Honolulu, Hawaii] & sell watches if it did break out – He tells of war experience as gun-layer and describes the horrors of the next war.  

We talk of the possibility of war [,] Sailor says in 1914 one man murdered today scores men have been murdered [,] enough to cause hundred wars — He says if war comes he will go to Honolulu and sell watches — Englishman every time.  Abr [Abraham] speaks of war as nasty, gastly [sic: ghastly] etc — I say war cleans up muck of period and in that sense a necessity — History of Eng. [sic: England] just wars [,] hence democracy — W [Watson] is shocked [,] speaks of little children etc [.]  I say in CapeTown chd [sic: child] died in scores of malnutrition & T.B. [sic: tuberculosis]  he remains silent & restless [,] expects Hitler’s declaration at 10 pm over the radio — Abr [Abraham] becomes hysterical in condemnation of war — SV puts in a timid word against war — Mahtu [Mehta] supports me — He hunts up N & returns to say he put it to N that if someone robbed him of £1000 [illegible] N wd [sic: would] go to police & if they cannot do anything then sit down — Naïve and childish — Mahtu [Mehta] is tickled — 

We sit about and drinks and gaity [sic: gaiety] in the Derby — woman seem to be most noisy — one man is holding woman around the waist — the sailor is excited.  Here’s a man scratching the woman’s back etc [.] he falls into pensive mood + Tappy comes for second time to hide a bottle of beer — Twinkle in eyes.  I sit for a little & then go down.

[Sept 13]

// Morning & Mahtu [sic: T.C. Mehta] arrives & get down to Tennis, after then upper deck.  3 arrive dramatically [,] they look confused and “shake hands” all round + wrestle foolishly - I protest they seem to believe more in brute force than in mental strength – I see the boxer and his friends take a photograph

[/P] teatime [.] the band – Watson shows us our names in Cape Times [newspaper] passenger list – We sit + Europeans play deck quoits - SV is restless & go other end & child is playing [.]  M [Mehta] talks to her –

[note on margin:] Daar le Die Ding[2] / We are marching to Pretoria Prelon

I go [to] the Smoking room & read Hitlers declaration and stand there to make uncomfortable - We go down to Lunch then Tennis [.]  Wrestling stoker comes along with his crowd [,] he looks a fine study of a man [,] clear complexion striking eyes – honest and straight.  Sits and eats dates brought by SA cook’s boy – the second squad looks terrible – He looks hungrily at passing women – Mahtu [Mehta] sits next [to] the wrestler –

Mahtu [Mehta] comes and tells us of special supper & that their waiter had prepared their places & he wd [sic: would] be disappointed if not – we sit & talk – Dinner & afterwards Mahtu [Mehta] comes & says in dilemma [,] what to do to go or not – to dress up or not [it is a costume event] – I say I wont [sic: won’t] dress up etc but will walk up & eat – We here [sic: hear] much noise in the corridor as preparations are made – women excited running up & down – We go to upper deck & find 3 talking and having decided not to go & witness as  2 ½ gallery – Abr [Abraham] & SV not decided - they argue [.] DN [D. Naidoo] tries to stop them but when band starts they dash over and look [.]  DN goes after them & stays too – looks also [,] I go also - Principle gone to the winds. 

I remark cd [sic: could] go as I was & walk off with prize – Commander to judge & Abr [Abraham] wonders he could give the prize with such beautiful spectacle – I say shut his eyes & drag any out – What about the others Abr says – I walk away & one steward [-] as he walks off [-] looks at me and makes gesture of disgust with his hand – so as no one can see – Dick Wittington[3] and Chinese Coolie[4] and Hawaiian girl win prizes – Abr is happy, he also went to look –

[/P] We go to lower deck & return to find 3 talking to Journalist – Abr [Abraham] is fast explaining their position to him (of South African politics) [.] Hofmeyer [sic: J.H. Hofmeyr] resignation in implication – reactionary Col [sic: Colonial] vote threatened – I put in “how can wars be avoided when people behave in this way” [.]  Journalist grimaces & speaks of wife and goes after shaking hands warmly -

Abr [Abraham] talks [illegible] the talk started black & white marriages – tells of Indian CapeT [sic: Cape Town] doctor who married white woman + returned to CT [sic: Cape Town] how the paper broke him & how he lost case in courts - DN [D. Naidoo] thinks right to defend dignity – I say it was mere hari kari[5].  He knew the courts & justice in SA too well to have bothered about it.

We go down [to] cabins & SV is so worried about dressing up that he takes off his shoes to sleep but DN [D. Naidoo] prevails upon him – make funny remark about Committee approaching us etc [.] As we wait the Honolulu girl is parting her lips – Abr [Abraham] congratulates her & she is flattered [,] also if she wd [sic: would] like to go there [.]  Oh as long as I can remember – I am ashamed & hide myself. 

We go up dining Saloon

Watson & I [,] then Wats [Watson] goes to call N – He arrives & we eat – bon-bons & odd things come from jackets – Watson gets a whistle & red paper cap [,] puts it on and blows whistle.  Someone else blows a whistle and Watson blows [.]  N remarks someone is blowing as if searching helplessly for contacts on the other side at all costs – I eat savagely and get away – There is much excitement [,] singing etc [,] the crooner in his element – a gypsy.  Their singing of Sarie Maras – Daar le die ding – Pretoria etc[6]– A regular SA night.  N hits his balloon about aimlessly as if to take part in the fun [,] it looks pathetic – afterward there is the dance and I see N standing alone with his red cap on and his red balloon  in his hand – odd & out-of-place

[note in margin:] Mehtu [Mehta] so amused that he goes down a [illegible]

Mahti [Mehta] says let’s go & we [illegible] go to every what to see [,] what each saw [,] should I like become [.]  We see the Student of the first day as an infant – I remark he is so confused with the world he risks to sink back to infancy – (Freud)

We go down to sleep + C.  We speak of the nastiness of education, that produces types of N.  N comes in just as I say he might be there  – We talk shop of Fort Hare[7] excapads [sic: escapades] etc – unrest – Wardew + his reaction to Edward VIII incident – McCord Hospital [,] McCord [James McCord] alive [,] shd [sic: should] be dead as no one knew if he wd [sic: would] not do queer things before death etc – Sleep -

[Sept 14]

// Up in the morning and expecting to see Canary Is. & Tenereef [sic: Canary Islands & Tenerife] — Passing of Carnavan Castle while downstairs — On deck reading Aldous Huxley “Beyond Mexique Bay” [“Beyond the Mexique Bay”, 1934] on Hitler etc & Nazism [,] interesting but limited in outlook & unfair misrepresentations of facts. 

Then excitement and pointing of fingers – Island veiled outline seen above clouds at first [.] I say it’s cloud but more & more distinct [.] A mountain on Nothing (Teneriffe [sic: Tenerife]) and I say perhaps it’s origin of idea of heaven – Naidoo explains the conception of earth by primitive Indian mythology – resting on four elephants and these on a tortoise swimming on the sea of nothingness – 

Band plays Sarie Marais, Daar le die ding Pretoria etc glad I am not in the Smoking room

Watson is unhappy over the rumour of War [.]  I try to calm him — poor man — I feel happy I am away from South Africa bec. [sic: because] the Carnavon Castle was held up in S. Hampton [.]  Anything to be away from the cursed country — I miss Ronald & Gladys [Mancoba’s younger siblings] — I hate these South Africans & I am tired of looking at them and what they represent — The ship for me is South Africa in miniature — Last night the police-man in fancy dress gave me a shock — I dread physical brutalisation whenever they pass too near me — the Nazi brutes —

Lunch – and after lunch we play deck tennis then the bath – Mehtu [sic: T.C. Mehta] sits with me and talk [.]  He dislikes D.N [.] He toys with the balloon and bursts it – He laughs + tells N at tea time - N is sorry & wants it [,] Mehtu [Mehta] promises to buy him another – 

I go up to upper deck + sit with group [,] the sea is calm – the sunset wonderful [.]  Watson tells me the elderly man wd [sic: would] not speak to him [,] treated him like bit of dirt [.]  He asked if anyone occupied deck chair – Poor old man [,] he is disillusioned and muddled – helplessly repeats “He’s a Dutchman”.  He’s a Dutchman – 

The sun sets, a globe of fire

I am restless & relieved after speaking to Mehtu [Mehta] on the mission of youth in this world – Why I dislike the N type of African.

Argument on stand pt [sic: point] of anthropology.  Abraham’s brilliant but from the medical viewpt [sic: view point] – D. Naidoo disagrees – presents Nazi inferiority superiority idea.  Sleep.